Zen and slow motion beer commercials.

I’ve just finished reading a book this week scribed by none other than Legendary NBA coach Phil Jackson, entitled, Sacred Hoops: Spiritual Lessons of a Hardwood Warrior.

Needless to say this book, like most, (I’m easily pleased) knocked me for six. It’s not long, and it’s not super detailed in terms of his NBA experiences but it does weave a few simple themes that demonstrate the power of higher and collective consciousness and how he has used these key elements to take both the Bulls and the Lakers to consecutive championships.

Now I will get back to this topic later in the post but first up I have to expel some rage in the direction of a new trend that still seems to be getting worse and worse. To most of you who actually read this thing it will seem very innocuous but as someone who’s directed TV commercials before it’s very apparent. This week I saw for the first time the new Carlton Draught ad. Now Carlton is basically the standard beer served at nearly every pub in this country sans Queensland. They drink XXXX which tastes like cardboard and…and well that’s all I’ve got. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with Carlton, but at the same time if there is an alternative beer and you have the spare coin, you’re gonna go for that 9 out of 10. What sets Carlton apart from most beers in our country are their commercials; simply put they are quite clever, usually funny or just plain well done. Unfortunately their latest one –

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtCU43MteYY

has just succumbed to the trend of hyper slow motion. But before I get into why this commercial pisses me off I’ll briefly explain why slow motion pisses me off.

IT”S F- ING LAZY!

To me when I first saw the use of these Phantom cameras capturing something at 1000 frames per second I was impressed, the detail, the nuance, the movement the simplicity of it all. Now it seems that every half-baked creative at an ad agency and every lazy spot director at a production company has at least one of these ads on his reel. Not to mention also that we can’t go a month without seeing a new incarnation of variable frame rate,  which funnily enough just looks the f-ing same as the last variable frame rated commercial that was on TV.

Basically it shows a lack of effort and a lack of understanding, it’s a cheap trick that has worn out it’s welcome. There is no skill in sticking a camera in front of some people and making them do stupid shit. Now I do understand that the advertisement I’ve linked above is a piss take of the very thing I’m talking about. They too obviously felt the same way about this over use of slow mo but instead of a taking a real stand and doing something completely opposite – they do the same thing! Once again demonstrating how lazy they are.

“You know we could come up with something completely original, something that signals the death of slow motion commercials… I know why don’t we do a slow motion commercial but we make of us doing a slow motion commercial!” I’m a genius, just like that cool guy from Mad Men.

Man I seriously don’t f –ing get it, I just don’t. You’ve just fallen into the same trap but instead put a different sticker on the same box that’s been doing the rounds for the past 18 months.

Hey here’s an idea why don’t you do a commercial in hyper fast motion, so fast that you don’t even see it! That way we’ll never see it!

Anyway I think I’ve made my point, actually the rant sort of goes against what I want to talk about next. Take yourself back, back to the early 90’s, Soccer was popular but Basketball was the king. Mainly because you had MJ plastered on every billboard in every basketball-playing city in the world, and rightly so the guy was a legend. Although this popularity only lasted roughly 7 – 8 years it’s looked upon with intense fondness by most late Gen Y’s and early X’s. Just get my mates and I around a table and we could rattle off hundreds and hundreds of names, granted most of them were learnt from NBA Jam, but still!

This should go a little way to explaining the phenomena if you weren’t around back then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0AGiq9j_Ak

Now what got me most about this book is how he described his team as a unit, and I’m not talking about the usual bullshit – there is no “I” in team spiel. I’m talking about a collective consciousness and harmony that he instilled via zen meditation and Native American teachings that garnered him no less than 9 championships. It’s about being in -tune with one another, while he stayed invisible knowing that these men needed not control, but jut a gentle guide.

What interests me is that his philosophy has huge parallels to the human race, this planet and our spiritual evolution. Us like Phil should stay invisible when it comes to this planet, we siphon too much of it’s resources and in return expect it to perform for us at it’s peak level. As a race we don’t work in harmony at all, like his players represented the Bulls and Lakers, we humans represent this planet. And as representatives when it comes to winning championships, we haven’t won any. We are not a cohesive unit, we don’t work together, hell we really have no idea what the guy next to us is all about. Our collective consciousness doesn’t exist hence we have no real connection to each other, and why no harmony.

And that’s why we haven’t moved forward in the past fifteen years, we haven’t matured in any sort of way and spiritually, we are a dead planet. Why? Because everyman thinks he can do it on his own. Bizarrely enough it wasn’t until Phil convinced MJ that he didn’t have to win the games on his own that the Bulls started winning championships. When you give to the other player and offer him your trust, you give him confidence to reach for the stars. When Jordan started including the team and team became one.

Well we have lost confidence in each other and hence in the league that is the universe, the team of Earth is the equivalent of the LA Clippers.

Like usual comment if your cool…wait a minute, comment if like me you’re desperate for a comment.

Until next post.

What happened to that wasted talent?

We all have one of those friends, or acquaintances or dude or dudette we have only met once that has a talent, or knack or is just hardwired for something so perfectly that it almost makes you sick to your stomach. So sick that you become in awe of this person and the relative ease at which they apply their craft time and time again. In most instances this person is not even aware of how they are doing it and in most instances this person can do what they do better than anyone else whilst high, drunk or carrying a serious injury.

These people are the naturals, or what I like to call “Mozart” syndrome. If you’ve ever seen the film Amadeus and remember the one-way rivalry directed at young Mozart from a jealous Salieri then you’ll know what I’m on about. If not click this link, it pretty much speaks for itself – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ciFTP_KRy4

Now whether or not this was a true chronicling of their relationship is beside the point, it displays clearly how some people can just turn it on while others toil hard and still produce mediocre results. Actually there is a quote in a Roger Ebert review of the film which sums up Mozart and his approach and knack for composing in one clean sentence.

“True geniuses rarely take their own work seriously, because it comes so easily for them”

But it’s also because of this reason that a lot of these people who possess this God given talent don’t further nurture it or follow it to it’s farthest extent. There is an argument by author Malcolm Gladwell that argues that this talent doesn’t come naturally but through a dedication of hardwork spanning roughly 10,000 hours. He sites examples in his book “Outliers” including that of Mozart, stating that he didn’t actually compose anything of true greatness until he reached his late teens. I like to agree with this theory, it bodes well for the notion of hardwork = success formula. Break it down to it’s basic common principal ,and you simply become good at something because you practice it over and over and over again.

This comes back to those people who are naturals, they love their craft so much that it becomes the only focus of their life, hence the practice feels nothing more than repetitive undertakings of the craft they love so dearly and their skill in it is merely a by product. But what about those people who are just f-ing naturals, you can’t deny those ones, and they are usually the kids who kick ass at sport that I’m talking about. We’ve seen them, the kid who picks up a football and can already kick thirty metres, the kid who picks up a tennis racquet and has no trouble hitting the lines Roger Federer styles. The kid who picks up a f-ing guitar and can already play stairway to heaven.

They exist and they are out there, and to use a John Mayer term those are the people that are just “Wired” to perform a specific task. It’s in their genetic make up and for them it’s no harder than tying up their shoe.

So for this entry in particular I decided to focus on two people, Demetrius “Hook” Mitchell and Dogtown skateboarder Jay Adams. Two prime examples of gents with talent to burn but never really got a shot or took their shot at the big time because they were missing that guiding hand.

Maybe it was a stern father or maybe just a loyal friend, but both had the talent and the world at their feet and both unfortunately ended up in jail. Below I’ll link clips to both characters that explain their journey and how and why they ended up where they did.

I’m sorry this is such a short entry, for some reason I was convinced this topic had legs but to be honest I think the links below outline what I’m trying to say, in a fashion twice as articulate with the added bonus of pictures and footage. I will go on and say this, maybe it’s the reckless abandon in which they treat their gift that makes people jealous, well at least at the time when they aren’t in jail. It’s the idea that something that means so much to someone can mean so little to someone else yet he is the one creating the product by which you measure your own. Maybe it gives off an air of disrespect for the craft, but then again a surplus of respect and seriousness is what blocks the sub conscious from truly tapping into your own genius.

Remember my topic about getting laid by turning off the conscious and letting your sub conscious do the work for you? Remember that? Of course not, because no one reads this f –ing blog.

Anyway that’s it for me, it’s late, I’m tired and I have work tomorrow.

But feel free to comment, because as the weeks pass, and the comments box remains empty, then the prize compounds in size! First comment receives a…

Jay Adams – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdnytjEuGZA

“Hook” Mitchell – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEwnZ-Yxw4U

Fanboys and Indie laughers.

On Sunday I had the pleasure of seeing two films at the Melbourne International Film Festival or MIFF for short. It’s a great festival and in terms of volume and sheer variety of films on offer nothing beats in this country. It’s one of those winter institutions that every year you find yourself on a weekend afternoon in the city lining up to see something you pray to God/Buddha is worth lining up for.

The first film was one that I’ve been trying to see for a while now, entitled “Waking Sleeping Beauty.” Essentially this film was a documentary chronicling the rise of Disney’s animation department from the mid 80’s to mid 90’s. On the brink of closure it provides us with a insight into how a few guys including Roy Disney, turned the fledgling studio around in a matter of years to become something of a annual phenomenon. Now during this film I had a chance to look around the audience and to my surprise and pleasure I noticed that most if not all the people seated were late Gen Y’s or Gen X’s. This was the stuff we grew up on, Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty & the Beast, Little Mermaid, Toy Story.

Noticeably there was a collective point in the film when the lyricist for the Little Mermaid; the late Howard Ashman talks us through the first beats and notes of “Under the Sea” I could of sworn that everyone in the audience was smiling as those first few chimes rang in as he described the procession of characters. “First we have Sebastian and he’s conducting, then we bring in the clams and the sea horses, and then we begin the singing.” Literally in that moment I and everyone else in that room was 10 again.

Go on I dare you, listen to the first few bars and not get nostalgic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzrIBut8Fo8

It was great to see how a group of rag tags guys and a few suits worked together to create some of the most precious memories of our childhood. But enough of that before I start building a time machine in search of better times. Although I will say at one stage I had watched Aladdin so many times that I could recite the entire movie from beginning to end that includes, songs, dialogue and music. Other notables included crazy facts such as the animators choosing to work on Pocahontas instead of the Lion King thinking the Lion King was going to be the flop of the two. Plus a Beauty and the Beast short film, which was the original before the director got kicked off sending team Disney to the start again, realizing the first incarnation was too serious.

All in all a great doco that really lifted the lid, and what added to the enjoyment was the minimal, yes I say MINIMAL participation of the audience. The most you got from us in that film was a smile and that’s how it should be.

So after this it’s about four in the arvo, I go for a walk around the city with my mate before heading to the next screening with another bunch of friends.

This experience would turn out to be one of the most annoying I’ve had in a while.

So the film in question here was none other than “Scott Pilgrim versus the World”        Now the first indicator that this was going to be a long night was when we rocked up to the cinema and saw what was no less than a snaking 300 meter line. This line essentially came out from the cinema, down an alleyway up along the other wall of the alleyway and then down the street. Luckily my friends had special passes, which sent them to the front of the queue and which allowed them to save me a seat. Could not imagine watching that film from the front row. So at the back of this line I stand and wait and listen to the myriad of conversations that are only on offer during the festival, one guy loudly talking about the greatness of Danish Cinema whilst another guy wearing a “Vote 1 Sex Party” t – shirt and doing his best to indoctrinate an uninterested girl.

After about an hour the line moves and we find ourselves relinquishing our phones seeing as this is a very premature screening of the film and they don’t want anything inside that can act as a recording device. Well after finding my mates I take my seat and almost immediately the film starts. I’ll warn you now that the next few paragraphs have nothing to do with the film itself, if you want a review –

“It was a good film, not unbelievable but I did enjoy it and found the combination of both film and video game quite outstanding, add to that the subtle video game soundtrack references, such as the Zelda fairy theme and I was relatively impressed for the most part. Evans and Routh were also cool guys.”

Okay simply put what ruined this film for me, in every sense of the word was one thing – FANBOYS! Now I had only experienced this very lightly in the past when I went and saw “Fantastic Mr Fox” at the Nova earlier this year. What I experienced then I experienced on Sunday but ten fold, no twenty fold, no thirty fold!

Laughing! F- ing laughing at everything!

Now I love going to a comedy and laughing myself stupid, seriously one of the best experiences I’ve had this year was “Hot Tub Time Machine.” I could not get enough of that film, dead set just an awesome experience to be watching that with my mates and laughing to the point of tears. Especially when Rob Corddry is banging the girl and giving a running commentary at the same time. But this experience is something entirely different, now maybe I’m new to it but my friend has experienced too. He calls it the “Indie Cinema” effect, claiming that people laugh at unfunny moments to prove how “Indie” they are.

Well ladies and gentlemen who probably don’t read this blog “Scott Pilgrim” had this in spades. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy it, it was that I didn’t know when to enjoy it. Nearly every moment was a laugh riot according to these indie/fanboys. Now the Greater Union cinema holds 750 people, it’s big and that means big fanboy laughs. There were times when the laughter was so forced it was almost embarrassing, and it agitated me because I was looking at the screen and basically reciting Ralph Wiggum “He’s funny but not ha ha funny.” To me it kills the experience because I sit there thinking I don’t get it because I’m not splitting my sides. Look I’ll laugh when laughter is due, but there were points in the movie in which I was just sitting there thinking “What the F&*$!”

Again like that Simpsons episode where Homer becomes smart and goes to see a movie. Yet he’s the only one in the cinema not laughing at the joke and then gets kicked out because of it. I think it’s Selma who says “Wait, somebody isn’t laughing!”  Truth be told I was waiting for that moment where some fanboy busting out of his Cowboy Bebop t –shirt would rock up and tell me that I wasn’t laughing hard enough. Personally I think this does two things, it cheapens the effect of the film giving it this stigma that it’s really not that good. Secondly, and this relates to the first one, the Fanboys look and sound like salesmen laughing at every innocuous moment as if trying to say “See it is a funny film, see I am laughing, it’s gotta be good because it’s just so non stop hilarious.”

Unfortunately this makes me hate a film more, almost confiding in me in some way that it can’t stand on it’s own merits and needs fanboys to prove that it’s worth a viewing.  Maybe the director knows this?

But now what makes matters worse is that this sickness, has permeated into the indie movie scene. And their idea behind the forced laughter is this.

“What you’re not laughing at that moment? Well then you’re not indie enough and I’ve just totally out indied you! Man if you don’t find that moment funny why are you even at the cinemas? Only someone as truly indie as me can find that moment funny, go back to watching Hollywood Blockbusters like Terminator dude. – Don’t forget the popcorn loser!”

This is the non verbal but easily decipherable message being sent to all of us who just go to the cinema to enjoy a movie or at least hope to. Bare in mind that above quote was probably said during the end credits which white Arial font drifted over a black screen.

So that’s it for another entry, I’m still waiting on a comment, you the guy who reads this every week but is afraid to comment because you don’t want to look like the only guy who reads this every week, I dare you!

I dare you to comment on my blog!

I have the power!

First up I’ll begin by telling you of a great thing that happened to me a few months back. I’ve been meaning to actually write about it but it sort of escaped me amongst all the ramblings about Auto – Tune, Aliens, and Bill Hicks.

So a few months back I had just finished shooting a viral video with my mate, it’s still in the editing process and we’re also waiting on a sound mix, anyway that night my bed was up against the wall in a spot in the room that it has never occupied before. This was on account of us using my bedroom as the primary shooting location before finishing up at the green screen studio. So that evening I went and had a couple of beers with mates and watched the footy at the local before going back home and sleeping it off. Nothing like a sleep knowing that you haven’t got work the next day…actually I have one of those tonight after six straight days of the freezer box.

Now what made this night sleep different from all the others is that at those times when I usually begin to feel like I’m crossing over – wait! If you’re new to this blog you probably have no idea what I’m on about.

Okay read this first – http://damascusvanmartins.com/2010/06/01/why-am-i-astral-projecting/

All right now we’re ready to proceed, like I was saying most nights in a sort of bi monthly fashion I get this sensation of total vibration right before the point I fall asleep. Essentially it’s an intense pulling feeling like my body or at least my soul is being pulled out, it’s not scary just bizarre, it’s very intense in the way a vibration is when you would be working out on a vibrogym.

In the last four years since my first experience with this sensation the overwhelming desire has been to fight it solely because I just want to get some sleep. Yet for some reason I finally gave in and like Robert Monroe said when it happened to him, “If it kills me it kills me.” Well I’m here writing this and obviously nothing has happened…not yet anyway. Funnily enough the sensation has only ever come back once and I’ve let it pass through me again but have experienced no other sensations or results such as the documented OBE’s that apparently follow it.

Hey maybe it may happen tonight, like chicken tonight?

So that’s it, thought I’d share that with you seeing as that I spent a whole blog post on the topic, I see it as very important that we somehow find a way as a species to travel to other plains because I believe that’s where a lot of the answers lie. Both in the future and also in regards to history. Actually a good bit of advice I heard from a zonked out club owner who had fried his brain to that of the consistency of a burnt frittata was this, “You have to trip.” Damn f –ing strait, that’s where all the good stuff lies.

Well with that bit of news relayed, which I’m sure, is going to interest not one person I can now address the topic, which I had originally planned to open and close with.

The power!

What is the power? Do you have it? Do I have it? What does it look like? Can I get some? Am I talking crap?

For safety’s sake let’s just answer yes to all of the above. What I’m alluding to is the energy that runs through you, your voltage and how it effects your chances of living a full life. I’ve more than likely touched on this before when talking about diet and how food should be viewed as a fuel source and really nothing else. It’s bizarre because I think with the advent of shows such as MasterChef and Ramsay’s kitchen nightmares among others food it getting this almost spiritual like reverence amongst the public. This I have no problem with, my beef lies with the type of food getting the attention. I don’t care how accomplished the chef is who cooked it, it can be Ferran Adria or the guy in Axpe, Spain who just grills everything…Victor Arguinzoniz… I think that’s his name.

These guys and most other Michelin star chefs are talented mother f –ers, no doubt about it. But to be honest to hold such food up on a pedastool when it really isn’t contributing to your life force is the wrong way to go. Actually the only person who is even getting close is Jamie Oliver with his current crusade of trying to get people to eat as sensibly as possible. Now let me back track as I’ve gone off topic a bit.

Don’t get me wrong I would love to eat from the kitchens of those geniuses everyday but I know that what the body requires is something a little simpler, a little more basic and a hell of a lot less touched. What we require are raw foods and their juice and it’s this stuff that perpetuates the life force, the energy, the power that allows humans to operate a sixteen hour day without getting tired, that would create a working digestion system that wouldn’t produce any gas, that would not get cold when the temperature drops below ten degrees Celsius.

I actually sleep with my heater off, my window open and just a pair of boxer shorts in the middle of winter, if your body can’t create it’s own heat then there is something fundamentally wrong with it.

If you notice people who get things done they all have one thing in common, it’s an energy, a never ending supply of movement and kineticism. Their body only goes to sleep because everyone else is and they have nobody to talk to. To be honest I’m writing this at 11:45 at night, and if it weren’t this it would have been a screenplay. I’ve had work, been to the gym and cooked dinner and the only reason I’m going to go to bed is because I want to leave some stuff to do for my day off tomorrow. I’ve been up since 7am and right now all my friends and even the people in my house are asleep or have been for at least the past hour or so.
How do I explain it? Simple the life force that flows within me is getting fed, getting fed the right sustenance that allows it to keep burning without hitting a hurdle – a massive steak, a hambuger, a mountain of pasta, a slab of desert after dinner, these are all hurdles to your body maintaining a proper working life force.

I am no different to anyone else, actually I’m dumber, slower and uglier than the average guy but I have enough foresight to realize that if I want to burn rings around everyone else in terms of productivity and getting things achieved, well I better give myself he best advantage possible.
Seriously I’m not f – ing tired and most people who do my job during the day go home and sleep! So think about it, a person like you reading this, if only you gave your body the chance to work at its optimum efficiency who knows what you could achieve. But if you’re feeding it crap and complaining there are not enough hours in the day because you find yourself asleep by 9:30 then I suggest you take a good look at what’s inside your fridge.

Once again I have gotten on to a topic that has turned into a rant, I’m sorry but the potential in every human being is there but we’re just too f – ing stupid to realize it.

Anyway have a good weekend, I know I will because I have three days off starting Saturday night and I’m going to have a belter – GO CATS!

And please, someone, please comment.