Here’s a clue, it happened this week. But before I go into the topic of the day I must apologize for my absence over the past two weeks. First of all I’m aware of the irony of the apology considering that nobody actually reads this blog but incase someone does stumble upon it while searching for pornography or whatever; to them I am truly sorry. Now go on your way and find something that has the title “tube” or “xxx” in the web address.
The reason for my absence, well finally I’m making some decent headway with my feature film, enough said.
Now back to the shark, this week saw what I will consider probably the lowest stupidest point in human existence. I’m not including war, economic downfall or a natural disaster, they happen on mass scale and usually are the dumb result of many intelligent people not agreeing on something. Now this was far simpler, far stupider and far more useless in terms of its message and the amount of attention received. Yet to understand the idiocy of the act in question which I promise I will reveal soon, we must take a trip into the term “Jump the shark”.
I’m guessing the one guy/girl who reads this blog is aware that the term JTS (I’m going to a abbreviate because I just got home from the factory, I’m tired, still have to go to the gym and generally can’t be f-ed writing out the phrase more than twice.) Essentially it means the moment when something has reached it’s peak and from then on in everything else is of lesser quality and diminishing on a sliding scale, at what speed that’s up to the people in control. But the term specifically points to that moment when “Fonzie” off “Happy Days” jumped the shark on the water skis. According to one avid viwer of the show who actually coined the term, personally for him that is when the show went to shit. Conversely if you speak to the shows creator, or maybe just read what he has to say. His view of the times back then were that a show that went for a further five seasons after jumping the shark couldn’t have possibly reached it’s peak at that seminal moment.
Myself? When I first heard the term I thought he jumped a shark tank on his motorbike so he could get across to Al’s diner and get himself a burger.
But who f-ing knows to be honest, I’m way too young for “Happy Days” but I’m not too young to know when an idiot tries to claim a moment at some redundant music awards as something of a human turning point when in actual fact that said person really is only trying to outdo themselves because the past two years have been one useless visual statement after the other.
Have you guessed who I’m talking about? Probably, it’s in the picture.
LADY F – ING GAGA!!!
And what exactly did she do to force humanity to jump it’s own proverbial shark? She wore a f-ing dress made out of f-ing meat! And then had the nerve to articulate the abomination into something of a message for human kind. Now I’m a Buddhist, although by the rants and raves on this blog you would be excused into thinking I’m more of a Westboro Baptist. I’m also a vegetarian, well at least to the best that my will allows, yet none of my gripes with Gaga and her dress have anything to do with animal rights or…or…well I can’t think of anything that correlates between her dress and my eastern beliefs but I’ll find something.
No, my main contention with her choice of garment was that she felt that it was a message, a message for the betterment of humankind. Actually maybe it’s best I paste her quote up so we can deconstruct it and maybe find the nugget of coherence within.
“If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And I am not a piece of meat.”
I not a dumb guy, and I’m not ludicrously intelligent either but I’ve gone over that quote literally hundreds of times to find any sort of basic rational to it and all I can say is this –
“I have no f-ing idea what the hell she’s talking about”
Personally I find it a pretty thin veiled excuse/reason to wear something for just pure shock value. To me it’s pretty obvious that she wore a dress made out of f-ing meat because the perpetual shockmesiter is running out of f-ing ideas. When you set the bar so high early in your career in regards to costume and appearance, it’s believed the ceiling will be reached rather quickly. And in all but two years I think Gaga has reached it. What can be more shocking than wearing a dress made of meat, the only thing I can think of is wearing a soiled tampon on your head. But then again she may use that as a way to define women’s liberation and how they are no longer prisoners to the female period and it’s sub textual message of forced childbirth pressed upon the 21st century woman.
This is not only the point where humanity jumped the shark but Gaga herself. Humanity because we wasted our time giving this any notice whatsoever. And then gave her the bloody forum to justify it as a message of some sort. You want human rights? Then travel to one of the poverty ridden war stricken countries in the African continent and fight for people who actually don’t have any. I’m not saying you have to, I’m saying that if your going to pass off a meat dress as a message, then you better back it up with some action because to be honest that dress has not helped one f-ing soul on this planet.
The more I think about it the more trivial the moment becomes when she revealed the dress and the angrier I get. Every moment on this planet should be undertaken in regards to how it will evolve us spiritually and mentally. Take away the animal rights and what I saw with this arrangement of meat is a human race lost, a human race who prefers to dedicate time to the idiocy of someone trying to stay relevant through any desperate means possible, rather than explore the outer reaches of the human spirit that could propel us to somewhere and something great.
But why bother because we ask to be bombarded with this shit, nothing surprises us anymore and we believe our own lives to be so dull that we must live vicariously through the outrageous actions of someone else. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but hey who wants to change, we’ve jumped the shark, we’ve watched someone wear a meat dress and hence witnessed the greatest most profound insightful prose and symbolic imagery that a human being has to offer.
Maybe I‘m being a tad dramatic.
For all of you who are reading this and I suspect that’s nobody, this has nothing to do with Gaga as a person. I couldn’t give a shit what she does in terms of music or what she wears 99% percent of the time. But when you blatantly wear something for shock value and pass it off as profound rhetoric then I got to say something. We are now dumber for giving the dress airtime; I am now dumber for writing an entire blog post on it. And the people are now dumber for wasting good, delicious cuts of meat in the name of fashion.
So that’s it, welcome back to all those who took a break from reading this, if you have a comment, love Lady Gaga and think I was way too harsh let me have it. I don’t care if you abuse me for the entire comment, just comment because I have none.
Seeeeya laterrrrr.
I can't believe I ate the whole thing. 